Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
