Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize