Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
