We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I love you.
Bad choice
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
