Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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