I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
