I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
