It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
