There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
