Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
