hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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