you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
