Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Randomize
