8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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