i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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