I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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