Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
