she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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