I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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