just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize