Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
