okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
