we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
