If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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