You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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