just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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