I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
