I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
