quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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