PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
