i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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