This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I have tasted many bathrooms
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
