I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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