Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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