1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
