The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
