it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
