His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
