Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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