That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize