Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I think your dad took our porno
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
