I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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