By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Randomize
