I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
