if only i could text you this smell
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
This baby is an asshole
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
