Yo dont text me then not text me
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
