He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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