i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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