I can text with my tongue
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
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