You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
someone owes me an orgasm
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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