WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
wow bdsm is so cute
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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