My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
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