I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize