you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
