its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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