How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize