I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
