did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
