Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
