You smell like stripper and shame
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Im part way to drunk.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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