you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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