We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
