My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Success! We fucked roommates!
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