Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize