don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
