Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
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