The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
