Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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