her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
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