Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
