I like to think it a success when the cops are called
now i know why i became what i already was.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
