FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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