so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
My pussy is not your playground.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize